Notes from the Tradeshow Trench; Austin was COLD!

Last weekend I hopped on down to Austin to participate in a Lie-Nielson Handtool Event for the purposes of meeting with customers and escaping the dreary Portland weather…repeat after me; John is a Bozo. John is a Bozo, John is a Bozo…

Saturday, Austin recorded the lowest temperature EVER (16 degrees Fahrenheit).  Big deal you say? Well, we were exhibiting in a lumberyard where it appeared one wall was missing.

So while I was questioning my sanity, I lost all sense of selfish misery when I looked over and saw one of the TLN staff demonstrating how to sharpen on water stones. Ouch.

However I am pleased to report that the new rails for the Jointmaker Pro work down to 16 degrees. Perfectly.

On a personal note, I went to a sports bar to watch the Texas-Alabama game Thursday evening. This was a real experience (because I was there) and the greatest practical joke ever perpetuated by a concierge–I was the only person who was not a transvestite–whatever pre-op means I look like it–or so I was told.

Now for Something Completely Different;

For whatever reason, and there must be one, I have been asked several times recently (twice in Austin), when am I going to teach my Creativity Workshop again?  Every time I teach this class I swear I will never do it again–it’s like force feeding a big ol’ live snapping turtle to a Mongolian Death Worm–or maybe the other way around. Whatever.

This is the class where on day one the students burn through a bottle of Advil and then, as stated by one student on day five–and I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP–” This was the most fun I have had without Tequila!”

So, with the snapping turtle/Mongolian Death Worm visual in mind, if this is something that may be of personal interest (this coming summer), vote here. If there are enough idea-starved Bridge Citizens who want to discover what it feels like to be 14 again, maybe even 11, we could make a great week together. The most likely venue would be at the Marc Adams School of Woodworking–only because of the food and lack of police.

Did I mention that we always offer di$counts on our tools at these things?

–John

13 comments on this post:

  1. John is a bozo. John is a bozo. John is…

    Has a nice rhythm to it.

    I’m surprised no one’s ever mentioned that you look like a pre-op transvestite before. It was the first thing I thought when I met you.

    Not! I love the idea of a Creativity Workshop at the Marc Adams school. My ability to participate would depend heavily on $$ and timing. Any thoughts as to when?

    Do you remember Wayne Nagle from the Austin woodworking show? He’s already ordered the JMP (not sure which one), and apparently is planning on getting the whole set of moulding planes. He’s a talkFestool regular, and all-round good guy.

    Glad you had fun. How come nothing’s on sale these days? I live for those sales!

    – Peter

    P.S. I’d take a snapping turtle over a Mongolian Death Worm any day!

  2. John,

    I too would be interested in the workshop, but I must insist that I be allowed to at least turn on a couple of the power tools as this would be the second time I went to the “Largest Woodworking School in America” both times to tune up my mental skills rather than woodworking skills, the first being your CAD class!

    The pre-op thing isn’t too bad, in fact it just gives you one more thing to add to your “out of office” e-mail reply: “John will be out of the office for gender re-assignment surgery and will return on…”

    Discounts on tools? I already feel like I’m stealing them!

    Well enough of the rambling on, I need to go finish my next DJ-1 custom jaw set!

    -Rutager

  3. I’m a recent BCTW addict. This class would be the perfect way to say to hell with a 12-step program, be happy. And happy I would be.

    Like Wayne, I’m eager for the HP6-v2 to return. Same with the MG-5 as it just closed pre-orders when I took the first BCTW hit (the first hit is always free!).

    Pondering the Christmas biker-bar party, I’m curious if the KM-1 will start selling in 2-packs…

  4. John,

    Depending upon the time of the year and the condition of my back, I would love to take this class.

    I think there is one thing you should be concerned about. Apparently ole pfranks emailed Michael about a sale on the BCTW tools and he was told to expect massive 40-60% discounts about once a month. Now, I would almost never take advantage of that but you just never know. 😮 😮 😮

    Just in case anyone takes this seriously it is strictly a joke. What Michael actually said is that pfranks will buy at retail and then resell to us at the discounts stated above. He is a heck of a guy. I also understand that in order for pfranks to break even he is going to attempt more and more sales. 😮 I think he is on to something and I, for one, will be quite willing to help pfranks off by purchasing many of his tools.:o 😮

    Fred

  5. You can send me your pre-order money right now, Fred, and I’ll send you some tools. Sometime. And they could be slightly less-than new…

    Perhaps John could design you a nice new back?

    – Peter

  6. John,

    Great meeting and talking to you. You’ve convinced me that a JMPV2 is in my future, and likely the new square as well. Someone should’ve warned you about Austin beforehand though!

    I will share a story with the other blog readers; when my buddy asked what John did before he designed tools/ran his own company he was quick to reply with: “Well, I spent 15 years in the porn industry”. I don’t think my friend caught the humor. Please tell Mr. R. Jeremy ‘hello’ for me.

    Hope you’re enjoying the warmer climes up North.

    Dave

  7. Dave: Rarely do I keep track of some of the shocking things I say, but I do remember you and your friend–it’s not easy being me, nor thinking of all of the off the wall things that nobody else will vocalize….except me.

    Which brings up an interesting point–nothing about what I do is believable nor affordable–glad to have you aboard and as you have learned, I exaggerate, it was only 13 years.

    –John

  8. The creativity workshop sounds like a good idea. Any chance you could piggyback it to the weekend class with Mr. Lie-Neilsen?

  9. John,

    Only 13 years well that is fairly impressive but PLEASE do not post any of the films you may have starred in as I do not think I can live through the scarring that will be imprinted upon my virginal mind. 😮 😮 By the way, the wonderful thing about having a mind that is tabula rasa is ……:o

    Fred

  10. I can supply the snapping turtles if John has the Mongolian Death Worms.

    Creativity class soundslike fun!

  11. John,

    If you do decide to go ahead and do one of these classes will it be published on Marc’s website first or would you notify us here first? I’m sure you already have enough people that would attend that are from this blog. I’m sure even more people would attend if it was posted on Marc’s site. With the small class size, I’m sure it would fill up quick.

    Enjoy the rest of your day.

    -Dave

  12. Dave-

    I have to clear my schedule to enable a date–I am working on it and we will post here first after clearing with Marc.

    Thanks for your interest!

    –John

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