As the Drivel Starved Nation now knows, Fred West won this years Sh!t Bunny Award–not for making his Entertainment Center, but for living with it.
He has received his award with no shame. Here are a couple of pics;
On a personal note Fred, if you don’t clean up your work bench you may end up with the evil Sh!t Bunny Twin–that bench top is too messy for my body.
Now, let it be known that when Chris Schwarz convinced me that I needed a blog (bunch of crap), I swore it would be the antithesis of the mean spirited baloney found everywhere else on the sewer net. (Sweeping generalizations are credible, yes/no?)
The picture below was supplied by Fred West and he is proudly listing Peter Franks as a collaborator. Between the two of them, they believe Fred’s Entertainment Center can be saved by festooning the face with surplus Bridge City knobs;
Let it further be known that;
FESTOONING NEVER WORKS! EVER. But if it did, it would only work with Bridge City knobs.
Lastly, here is the CRITERIA for winning the next Sh!t Bunny Award;
1. You have to have the cojones to nominate YOURSELF.
2. Everybody has made a crappy piece and for vanity reasons never owned up. NOW is the time.
3. Do you want others repeating your disastrous designs and crappy work?
4. Didn’t think so.
Send me a pic if the camera lens doesn’t break. I will do the rest. I have learned over the years that pointing at a piece and saying “That SUCKS” hurts feelings.
Trust me, this is a great learning tool.
Lastly again, earlier this year I had Salmonella. Lost 18 pounds in 3 days. After seeing the festoon job above, I have lost 6 pounds in the last ten minutes.
Gotta go.
-John
PS: Fred/Peter; speaking on behalf of the Drivel Starved Nation, your festooning sucks.
Dear Mr. Economaki,
I wish to point out that I have the cojones to point out that you misspelled cojones. Cajones means “drawers” for furniture, and this entertainment center does not have any drawers, festooned or otherwise.
Yours pedantically,
Steve
YIKES! Fixed…never underestimate the DSN!
Thanks. Sorta.
Let it be known that it is not easy being me.
John
Steve,
I’m Impressed! I thought it was Cahonees.
Sigh. And speaking of misspellings, it’s “Franks” not “Frank”. Furthermore, you failed to notice the quality job Fred did of attaching the aforementioned BCTW knobs to the POC: Scotch tape. This, of course, is the classic festooning tool of the Sh!t Bunny champions – a fact well known within the DSN. If you don’t know what DSN is, you need to pay more attention to the TWB. And if you don’t know what the TWB is, you … Oh … I give up.
By the way, if you think that small portion of Fred’s bench is messy, then please don’t ask Rutager (the Golden Boy of BCTW purchasers – he actually uses them to make nice stuff) to show you his bench. Or at least, his bench last week.
Now the Sh!t Bunny award: I feel the need to point out that Fred received the award for just living with the POC, not for building it. Your criteria (which, by the way, is the plural of criterion) imply that future Sh!t Bunny winners must have built the piece themselves. This hardly seems fair, as past winner(s) merely had to live with their Sh!t Bunny award-winning work. Why should the rest of us have to debase our own work to achieve Sh!t Bunny stardom?
– Peter
And speaking of Fred’s bench, did you see what the Sh!t Bunny was leaning up against? A hand-made Marcou plane. Oh, the irony. The irony.
– Peter
Econ,
Also a subject I took in both high school and college, I must say that I believe the festooning of the POC has just begun.:o I have four more sets of each of the two knobs you have so cavalierly put up for sale within this very blog. Personally I only buy them to keep them out of Rutager’s hands. 😮 However, upon receipt of said knobs I will FURTHER festoon the POC in hopes of helping you match the weight loss achieved by the salmonella. 😮 😮 So, if you think Peter’s festooning sucked before, you ain’t seen nuttin. 😮 Lastly, nothing, I say nothing but a Marcou or BCTW plane are capable of holding up a Sh!t Bunny. All others would buckle under the weight of such a prestigious award. 😮 😮 😮
Fred
That award bestowed upon Fred is so incredibly appropriate! The fine gentleman has the largest warehouse East of the Mississippi of BCT,LN,Festool,et al.and greater woodworking tools. With the said entertainment center located centrally within this fortress of precision tools one would think perhaps that Fred starring at it night after night would be driven to shame and action.
Ron;
Where is the “west of the Mississippi” tool fortress? Inquiring minds and cat burglars need to know.
Fred’s Entertainment Center + Fred’s Shop = Incongruous Squared
-John
In the west that would be Joraft’s fortress-under-construction.
If you look at the pictures closely, it’s
Fred’s POC + Fred’s Christmas tree + Fred’s Shop = Incongruous Cubed
That tree’s up all year ’round. Do you think Santa is fooled?
– Peter
P.S. I’m thinking that Rutager – somewhere pretty near the Mississippi – must have a tool fortress pretty close to Fred’s quality, too.
Peter,
It’s more of a shanty of solitude! With a clean bench mind you. It has now been clear for about a week and I’m starting to think having a clean bench is a nice thing.
I think Santa may be fooled. Fred has got himself a pretty nice collection of planes. Now the Easter Bunny, he’s not fooled one bit, that’s why Fred doesn’t have a JMP! Speaking of things Fred doesn’t have; SHAME, get that Entertainment Center out of there already!
-Rutager