What We Made at Marc Adams School of Woodworking… and if You are an Idiot, BEWARE!

“For those who have never experienced the joys of fishing, there are two reasons to fish: One, a free fall mind drift that takes over during all the lapses in action. Two, catching fish. Drawn on each fish is the daydream that preceded the catching of that fish, the most common of which (in my case) is boobs. Public restrooms, 9-11, childhood memories and the pattern plaid, along with various pieces of litter complete the contents of the plastic donut bucket. The bucket, being emptied on the countertop at home, is a chronicle of the morning’s events, both external and internal.”David Regan
 
NOTE: This was the “Artist’s Statement” from an exhibition I saw in NYC a year ago. I love irreverent artist statements.
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Yo! Drivel Starved Nation…PAY ATTENTION!
 
I have three benchmarks I evaluate that determine if classes I teach are a success or, a complete bust – there is no middle ground.
 
The big one is whether I was required to administer the Heimlich maneuver. I just hate having to do that – too much theater for a wood shop. Students that don’t know the difference between a potato chip and a wood chip should not be admitted. Add cow chip into that mix too.
 
The second benchmark is to have a student list void of Elvis impersonators.
 
As you might guess, giving the Heimlich maneuver to an Elvis impersonator is my worst nightmare. It has happened to me more than I care to admit.
 
You decide if my classes were a success or not.
 
Below are a few pics of what Elvis worked on over the last two weeks. Don’t ask me any “How” questions please. They are the exclusive providence of the tuition payers. I am sure they will chime in if asked. Besides, I have to create a video of how I made the “Fog of War” for the upcoming exhibition. Lots of how stuff in that.
 
The little jig we made for all JMP’s to make micro adjustments using a digital caliper.
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A little army of pawns. These guys are under 2″ tall and each took about 45 minutes to make. Elvis needed 16 to move on.
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It is not easy at this scale to make perfect cuts without over-cutting. All the little Elvii did great!
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Small scale work often involves abrasives. Think diamonds.
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Lots of options for creative expression with this project.
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Gap free joinery takes time. The lattice components are .058″ thick.No glue at this point, just pressed together for a quick pic before I had to leave to catch a plane.
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The rooks were fun to make. And close to impossible without the JMP I do believe.
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Work in process by one Elvis. Parts are held together here with double-stick tape.
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If you ask any of the Elvii, they will tell you that small work is HARD! And fun.
 
My favorite part of the class was converting everybody to decimal inches. I prefer metric but did not want to get lynched. Anyway, most of the students had $30 or under digital calipers. WE WARNED YOU a year or so ago to stay away… BUT NO! So here is what happened…
 
We had one student who was going through one battery a day. WE WARNED YOU! Others could not get their caliper to repeat…. Anyway, the class had enough and we ordered good calipers, they cost about $125 each. For those that don’t listen, they actually cost $155+ when you add in the cost of the crappy tool.
 
I then overheard the student with the battery sucking caliper say to his partner, “I can’t wait to sell this piece of shit to some idiot on the internet when I get home.”
 
It is amazing what you learn in school.
 
-John

11 comments on this post:

  1. Well…I’m jealous…Looks like a really great time to be had at MASW.
    I would have LOVED to be there with you all
    I really like some of the variations also.
    Can’t wait to get the DVD on this.

    Dennis

  2. John, Sounds and looks like it was a blast. However, you did forget to mention the Heimlich maneuver you had to give to the crippled Elvis impersonator. That would seem to be the worst of the worst especially if said impersonator than started taken pictures of his swollen limb and blaming you. 😮 😮 Fred

  3. It was a terrific class, John. I learned a lot and really enjoyed the design and execution challenges you laid out.

    A few things I learned:

    – Fingers and disc sanders don’t mix. My knuckles are healing
    – The JMP is even more incredible with patience
    – Offering relief on the fence when cutting improves the accuracy
    – Jigs help really help repeatability on the JMP a lot
    – Inverted bench planes give you incredible control over small pieces
    – Planing to the line is an exercise in craft
    – Rutager likes chocolate milk as much as he does bacon
    – Next time I’ll bring my entire plane collection for you to sharpen
    – You don’t leave a MASW class hungry

    Thanks for a fun week where I learned a lot, and met a lot of great folks.

    neil

  4. It looks like the Evii became quite accomplished woodworkers. I’m curious, though, what they ingested that had to be Heimliched out. Personally, I prefer the Heineken maneuver.

    I’m looking forward to seeing the completed sets. They must be quite striking. I wish I had been there to learn with you all.

    Neil – condolences on your flooding. I hope it’s all fixable.

    — Peter

  5. john,
    another thing to be learned is even though you only used hand model shots, my wife recognized my sweatshirt and ring so she now believes i was at masw (at least for some portion of one day). think i’m good, thanks for a great week.
    dave

  6. Neil, I had no idea the burning flesh smell in the class came from your knuckles. I assumed (erroneously) it was Rutager’s cologne.

    -John

  7. Ditto on it being a great class. I now understand the term and expectations for gallery quality. In addition to learning about the power of upside down planes I also learned to appreciate what a tool it becomes with a couple runners and some double stick tape. I finally appreciate the runners on my HP-8.

  8. Dave,

    Now I know why you wanted me to take your pic so bad on Monday. You should have stuck around, Tuesday thru Friday was fun.

    Hope this helps…

    -John

  9. John,

    The smell of rotting flesh was mine- would have sent you a picture, but didn’t want to push my luck.
    Class was awesome and cool, can’t say enough good things about the instructor or my classmates; they helped me unload and load my car as well as carry water and ice cream to my bench- THANKS everyone, DSN rocks!
    I took several pictures of a sweet cut and when I get the chance I’ll post to the forum the steps for those who missed out on the class.
    One last thing, I was lucky enough to share saws and benches with Neil; that man works hard and knows what he is doing- if I ever open a sweatshop, he’ll be my first worker.
    Best,
    Rutager

  10. Well, thanks for the ‘compliment.’

    But you’d have to fight my wife for rights to this sweatshop worker, Rutager!

    neil

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