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“Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.” — Steven Wright
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Have you ever gone on vacation and been paralyzed with fear wondering if there has been an earthquake back home?
This is why I never take vacations. If you are like me, and I know you are, then you need to hop over to Woodworking in America and come by our booth.
Why?
Because our “Dream Team” of Jointmaker Owners will be making what is sure to be the most coveted souvenir of the weekend. Thanks to a reasonable license fee ($221,328.61) we just paid to Cooter Ditchman, we will be making his “Earthquake After Detector”.
Here is a view after an earthquake;
Choice quality stuff that fascinates and inspires is one thing–protecting you from irrational thoughts while on vacation is another. And, it is damn rare to combine these elements in one affordable product AND feature hand made Squiggle Wood. Of course we struggled–but DID IT!
How affordable you say?
For a meager $10 minimum donation, you can take one of these home. Assuming of course that our Jointmaker Dream Team performs as expected. (do not place an Earthquake After Detector in the master bedroom–too easy to get false readings) All funds will be given to the Roger Cliffe Memorial Fund administered through the Marc Adams School of Woodworking.
Imagine getting to our booth early to lay claim on one of the FIVE Jointmaker Pro demo units (how do you spell S-H-O-W S-P-E-C-I-A-L?) that can be hauled away Saturday at close of show. It is unbelievable I know, but you can own one of the very Jointmakers used to produce the Earthquake After Detector. How cool is that?
And that is how you make two days in Kentucky fun for all.
–John
It’s hard to believe that I’ve lived in California (which, they tell me, is prone to earthquakes) all these years, and I didn’t have an Earthquake After detector. What a fantastic device! How else would I know that an earthquake had happened?!? I can hardly wait to see how they work. I bet it’s complicated!
– Peter
By the way, you might want to add other useful devices to the series. Like the “Rain Detector” (if this is wet, it rained). Or the “Snow Detector” (if this is covered in snow, it snowed). Man, there’s dozens of these! You’ll be rich. RICH I tell you!!!
– Peter
P.S. I gather there’s a move afoot to use technologies from the future to separate me from my money, and possibly replace it with a used JMP. My wallet (which is very possessive about my money) may have something to say about that… Shields Up!
Peter:
Why are you wasting your time here? Write Cooter direct- he is not your atypical PHD student, but he seems to have a pulse where others are flatlined…
How many other people can honestly proclaim “it’s not easy being me.” ?
-John
Well, I don’t have Cooter’s contact info. I was hoping you could pass it along.
By the way, I thought of another one: a Dark Detector. If you can see it, it’s not dark.
– Peter
I like that CT-18 “Earthquake After Detector”
:0)
John,
I just had to try this cut on my JMP; It went real well and of course there were off cuts- cool looking off cuts, which got me thinking way back to when you started making a chess set and how maybe this project started out with you and Cooter trying to make the Rook. Can you confirm or deny this new rumour?
-Rutager
It occurs to me that you could have a series of towers of different heights or separations between the kerfs. Each tower would drop its ball at a different magnitude of quake.
And if you can’t find the detector, it was a REALLY big quake.
I wonder how you’d calibrate it?
– Peter
P.S. Am I taking this too seriously???
@Peter: Shouldn’t you be grading papers or reading dissertations or writing something to get published so you can keep your job, or making pesto? That said, I really like your “Dark Detector”!
@Rutager: I was goofing around on my JMP and had the exact same “ah ha” moment–the fall-off from some of these cuts is fantastic. I have a box of them, never throw any of them away and YES, …but not my rook, my bishop. I have only one piece left to conceive–the knight and then the board. I know what I am going to do with the board, just have not figured out how yet.
–John
John, classes just started on Friday, so no grading yet. But I did have a pretty cool collection of swimming phytoplankton to show them under the microscope today. We’re having a beautiful bioluminescent red tide right now.
That being said, the “Dark Detector” could also be a “Bioluminescence Detector”. If you can’t see it underwater, there’s no bioluminescence….
– Peter
P.S. Writing papers. I wish. I get maybe 15 minutes at a time to do my own work. I’m thinking that I need to reorganize my life so that I can get an hour to work on something…
John,
What’s this about work? I thought we were going to reserve one of the demo JMPs for Peter so he can make cool stuff in his free time instead. Probably better put a HP-6v2 on hold for him too.
-Rutager
Fantastic time visiting with the dream team, Michael, and John.
I made it home late yesterday debating if Cooter might try to develop an ‘after extreme driving detector’ as a additional ‘essential’ that would sit on the dash of the car. Similar concept to the patent pending ‘after earthquake’ detector only done in walnut. Every parent would want one to teach their kids how to drive more carefully. Perhaps a standard issue item for the franchised Cooter Ditchman driving school?
This is big.
neil
Neil: Agreed, your idea is BIG.
Glad you made it home the windy city. Good to see you again.
–John