The Bridge City Caption Contest Winners…

Like the paternal voice I should be but rarely am, it is time to mine this exercise for deeper meaning…

I think it is safe to say that all who participated in this process had fun–some of these suggestions were damn funny. What is not funny is the dent in productivity this caused around here… who would’ve thunk it?

Linus Pauling once stated that the best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas, and this little contest is testament to the powers of distillation. And therein lies the message! (Linus Pauling was once a professor at Oregon State which reminds me, college football starts in four months–it is no irony that I am in the woodworking tool business and my favorite team is the Beavers!)

When I am asked to jury a show or my thoughts on a piece I almost always would like to see the ideas that were rejected prior to the final design. All to often there were no prior ideas–not good.

What we all did over the last couple of days is participate in a group brain-storming event. Hopefully you found this enjoyable and fun and perhaps the corollaries to your own work might be beneficial–it is what you reject as a designer that makes your work strong.

Speaking of rejects… (Oh goodie–the fun John is back!) well, we have quite a few ideas that need polish, but they helped elevate our three winners! But first, let’s discuss the judging because there might be lawyers lurking around this totally awesome and worthless blog.

Since I proffered a couple of ideas I recused myself–otherwise I am certain that I would have swept the awards… yes/no? Just kidding folks, but I did recuse myself from this contest, diets and fast Hollywood women.

That said, I managed to select two people off the street as judges. Imagine my surprise when I found out they both work here! So, if you don’t like the results, blame Cassia and Michael.

We have a three-way tie for first place–here ya go!

“Does this knurling make my knobs look big?”


“Tenonmaker? Big deal. My boyfriend’s an Elevenmaker!”


“Separated at birth, the twins stood wide-eyed, mouths agape when they met
for the first time as adults. Charlie, the older of the two (by three minutes),
had been born uneventfully. But there had been some complications during
Ben’s delivery, and he never quite grew to his full potential. On the other
hand, Ben’s adoptive parents had paid for the extensive orthodontic work
required to correct the severe malocclusion that ran in the family. Both men
had lost all of their hair by this time, and Charlie’s ill-fitting toupee was a


Thanks to all of you who helped set a new record for posts in this totally awesome and worthless blog. To stevekay, pfranks and Steve_OH, you have your choice of a totally free $50 gift certificate OR one totally free Tenonmaker when they become available.

Now, I have got to get to work–my biggest fear is knowing the size of your wallet is growing and I am not doing anything to lance it…


PS: To all the losers–when depressed, sad and feeling worthless visit this site. Works like a charm–I know it works for me!

17 comments on this post:

  1. Cool! Wow! I won! You love me! You really LOVE ME!

    So what’s the deal with the statistically unlikely outcome that the other winners are both named “Steve”? Seems suspicious to me. Did you check their birth certificates?

    So now, another difficult decision: tool or $50? Tool or $50. And this on the heels of having to decide to make Gillian pay for her own orthodonture so that I could get the CT-17. Life is soooo hard!

    Thanks John. This was fun. I totally agree with your #1 and #3 choices. Definitely LMAO material! Way to go, Steve(s)!

    – Peter

  2. Peter-

    Clarification: Well, it can be a gift certificate to BCTW or to Fred’s Fill Dirt and Used Speedo’s. Take your pick.

    Also, we had a 3-way tie for first place. Everybody else was a loser–why sugar coat it? And I am a proud member of the loser list and still had much fun!

    Considering the Kerfmaker and the Tenonmaker have no teeth, I think it is fair that Gillian buck up–tell her thanks for allowing us to send you a CT-17!


  3. Well, it’s more of an overbite than a buck problem, John, but I’ll pass on your thanks to Gillian. Did I mention that the CT-17 is a birthday gift to me from Sharon and Gillian? But don’t tell me. It’s a secret…

    – Peter

  4. When I was in the seventh grade (a _very_ long time ago), I was in a class of 30 students, a full 20% of whom were named “Steve.”

    I actually don’t have a birth certificate per se (although I was, in fact, born). I have a “Statement of Birth” from the US State Department instead.


  5. Was Stevekay in your class? That would be weird. I’m still suspicious. Are you certain you were born? … seems like a conspiracy. 😉

    On the other hand in my 9th grade history class there were 6 Johns and 4 Peters. Now I don’t know anyone named Peter. Where have all the Peter’s gone?

    – Peter

  6. Oh well….I’m broken hearted that I’m a loser, but I really tried. Congrats to you winners! I was teasing Pfranks, but he chose to take the high road. See what it got him? It was a fun excercise! I thought I might have been in the running with the foot trap, but its tough competition on this site. Thanks for setting up this interaction John!


  7. Peter;

    You need to take a break–in my 6th grade class (name your religion here) there were; 4 Peters, 3 Johns, and 2 Dicks. Do the math.


  8. Hmmm – we tended to do Michael’s rather than Dick’s at my school. So other than me, do you know any Peter’s any more? This still worries me…

    Dennis, I loved the Pfranks captions. And you know I love to retaliate – I just couldn’t think of anything! The best I could come up with was a few lame jabs at John.

    I think we should start guessing what the next tool is going to be. I love that kind of brainstorming!

    – Peter

  9. Congratulations fellas,

    What a fun contest!


    Since the Tenonmaker helps cure gapsois, I have to believe that it has dental applications as well. I also believe that as a good father you owe it to your daughter to try anything that might improve her quality of life.


    Since Peter was privy to the CT-17 and now won the caption contest, and I know you believe in full disclosure, I must ask; Did Peter supply you with a map to where the mermaids live? If so, will you share it?


  10. Actually, Rutager, John never asked. Probably didn’t occur to him, given his Megan Fox obsession. Let me know if you want the map. Coincidentally, it costs just about the same as a CT-17.

    I know. I was surprised, too.

    – Peter

  11. Hey! Maybe John could dream up a “treasure hunt” for us to expose our cut-throat competitiveness… I can think what the treasure could be also. Mermaids would be nice, but TOOLS would be better….We have the internet as a boundary (which I admit isn’t very big….but hey, it could be fun…


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